In the last couple of months, I think I told a friend and a group of cousins how the tough parts of parenting really intrigue me in asking the question: why?
Why do we have such a hard job in parenting these little people? (I am assuming you are only here if you too have felt the same – so if you think it’s an easy job, then you’ve probably no reason to carry on reading 🙂
I told her, this is one thing I really want to ask Allah swt in the Hereafter. “What was that all about?” Honestly – the perks are super-awesome. But the downsides are enough to drive you mad.
And yesterday I was thinking about it again and here’s what I felt- sometimes, the absolutely cringe-worthy crying episode of a toddler who has not been given this one particular thing – despite a very good and happy and exciting day otherwise- made me think of how all of the tiny things we care about as a parent are a minisicule version of what Allah swt Does for us.
As a parent, we do so much for a child, but one thing goes wrong and they’re ready to put up a fight and make you feel like you’re the worst parent ever.
Of course, as you’re reading, we all know that these comparisons fall short of True Reality because they are finite and imperfect. Whereas Allah swt is Finite.
But His Creation holds signs for us. And in parenting we find a unique sign.
Children are immature. They do not know the whole story. Yes, they are close to the fitrah, but they need guidance and nurturing. They are full of carefree freedom – but if you let them do whatever they want, pretty soon they will be falling short of the potential they are capable of achieving. They need to play and be free and be creative, and play again – but they also need to be taught and shown basic rights from wrong – caring for others, empathy, not hurting others, not damaging something on purpose – these are things we teach early on as parents. As a parent, our responsibility is to guide our children to the best possible version of themselves.
And Allah SWT Guides us to the best model possible as a human.
And we are immature. And we are stubborn. And we want to go our own way. And sometimes we see the benefits in what He says but we still want to have that tub of ice cream right before bedtime. Most of the times we may be grateful, but there may be that one time when you knew it’s ok to not get that particular one thing because maybe it was bad for you anyway- but we question and feel bad – about why Allah swt Denied it to us.
Perhaps, in parenting, there lie some valuable lessons that we would not have learnt otherwise. Perhaps in the drudgery of parenting we realize, how, just like a tiny baby, who cries out of need because it is unable to do anything for itself, how we too are so in need of Allah swt. May be not in this world “apparently”… maybe we can deceive ourselves in thinking that we are thinking of our own, feeding ourselves on our own, growing on our own – maybe we can deceive ourselves here- but in the Hereafter we will be oh so Needy of Him.
يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ أَنتُمُ الْفُقَرَاءُ إِلَى اللَّـهِ ۖ وَاللَّـهُ هُوَ الْغَنِيُّ الْحَمِيدُ
O mankind, you it is that have need of Allah: but Allah is the One Free of all wants, worthy of all praise. (35:15 Quran)
We are truly fuqara- faqeers of Allah. In every sense of the word.
There is no other thing like motherhood in this world. Surely, in it are signs for those who think.