Guest Post (A Beautiful Dua for Contentment)

 Guest Post by Beenish Ehsan
رَضِيتُ باللهِ رَبَّاً، وَبِالْإِسْلَامِ دِين،
وَبِمُحَمَّدٍ صَلَى اللهُ عَلِيهِ وَسَلَّمَ نَبِيَّاً
“I am pleased with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my religion and with Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as my Prophet.”
The root of the above dua, for those of us, unfortunate enough to not understand arabic is the following hadith:
There is no Muslim servant who says in the morning and the evening three times: “I am pleased with Allah as my Lord, with Islam as my religion and with Muhammad (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) as my Prophet, except that it will be a right upon Allah to please him on the Day of Judgment.” (Ahmad)
Since the time i came across this hadith, whenever i would recall it i would repeat those words to myself atleast once, with a smile, conviction and joy. i would feel those words sincerely and go about my day feeling content. I would, however, always wonder with profound confusion as to why ibn-e-adam, such lowly people, created by Allah Himself were granted the honour of uttering these words and that too, as if we have the right to choose or feel/say an alternative statement.
But you know what I have come to realise? Each of these lines contains the depth of the sea within it. It holds a deeper meaning, a reality that you realise with time perhaps, with this statement at the back of your mind. When you utter these words you arent just endorsing certain basic facts of a muslim’s life. You are obeying the Deen of Allah for what it is, you are accepting that islam truly is the most correct way of living irregardless of what other people/muslims continue to do. Regardless of your desire to flant your hair, or turn around and give a smart-mouthed reply to someone that truly deserves it. Despite the modern day feminist inside of you, you realise that islam is far more modern than you can ever be. That islam will liberate you far more than snuggling into a pair of shorts can ever. That there is so much peace and contentment in silence than could ever be in words. That sabr is not passive, that when you give love, you don’t seek return from your beloved, rather, from your Lord! That you would rather wish to be invisible to all of mankind just to be in His eyes.
When you chant this dua, you promise that you will, to the best of your understanding and capabilities, follow the life of Prophet PBUH. You will read Allah’s words of hilm, sabr and hikmah and see power and liberation in it instead of a defeated waiting and would not rush to a quick justice. You will look towards the Prophet’s PBUH life and you will see his freewill, choice and immense strength in taking criticism and hate-crimes from those who were very much his “own” even. You will then notice the positivity and forgiveness he gave them in return, not just cause he was a Prophet, but the flag-bearer of islam, the leader of you and I; the prophet who showed us day in and out what it was to give, give and give without seeking. Sure it was not easy, sure he was a prophet and we are only human. But we are his people, if we dont then who will know a thing or two about loyalty, about sacrifice? You accept that as his follower, you will think on those lines and rise above your human bias. You will try every day, all over, not for others but for the promise you have made to your Rabb.
You will forgive when its tough to even forget; you will smile, even when the wait has exhausted you; you will accept that your Rabb has a plan, that you may be defeated and out of energy, but Allah, whose got you, is above these human processes and needs. You acknowledge your limitations, the failure of your plans, the incomplete dreams, the sweet realities that have now, suddenly left you amidst waves of anguish and depression, you will taste the bitterness of all these moments and you will think of your Allah with pleasure and gratitude even as the life you are living exhausts you. You will not give up, you will put one step in front of another and steady yourself after each fall, not because you are invincible but because your Rabb is, and then in those moments of feeling superbly insignifcant,small and helpless you will recite these words again with gratitude. Gratitude, because you realise how truly Great Allah is, you recite with the understanding that allah only granted his ashraf-ul-makhlooqat with and you will once again hear yourself say: Indeed i am truly pleased with Allah who is MY rabb, with Islam that graced me with a cvilized, empowered way of life and with the prophet who indeed had the forebearance of many mountains in him. I love them, i am pleased with them and i wish and pray that one day they are pleased with me.
I do not know what this dua does for anyone and what all it even does for me, but of the few things that i am aware, it awakens the strength in me, to look beyond. It gives me the ability to cry my tears to Allah and tell Him that i wish every letter of this dua hold true for me till my last breath, in health and sickness, joy and sadness. Remember, if your sole purpose is to please Allah, then look away from dunya in all matters of approval and fulfillment; He will be sufficient for you.
Advertisements

Love is like a jigsaw Puzzle

One fine morning, last year in Okinawa, I went on a post-fajr breakfast with a friend. Yes, without the kids. That allows more room for thinking and talking… Something you rarely get with little ones around.

We sat right next to the shore, the waves lapping onto the golden sand, but respectfully staying at a distance. But they are incessant. That is one thing you notice about the sea. It is incessant, persistent, and persevering. One wave after the other. It doesn’t stop.

We talked about a lot of things… One of them was marriage.

In retrospect, over the years one realizes how every perspective has something to offer – there are plus points of being independent, and there are advantages of living a life with your significant other. Then there are disadvantages of both too. So in either case, the key to gratefulness would be to be grateful for the pros of your own situation.

During our conversation, (free of interruptions that are so typical in a conversation when you are a mother, and feeling so luxurious that it was almost surreal) I realized I have no patience with people who attempt to pose marriage as one-size-fits-all type of thing. There *is* no one size. There are all sizes and all shapes and all different colours, all joining together to make a unique separate thing, called marriage in real life.

Do I believe in real love? I do – the type of love that is sincere and loyal, that has its ups and downs but then survives and becomes stronger. The type of love that has a foundation on the nature of one another – not the likes and dislikes, because surely, those change over time… *Real* love is not conditional like that. What is real love after all? No one has been able to define it. It is one of those things that has a billion definitions and each of them is true in one aspect or another.

So yes, I believe in love. I believe Allah SWT Created the human heart to experience all these emotions. But there is no fairytale love in which no disputes will occur. Thousands have said that already – marriage is hard work. But life is hard work too. And when you become passionate about any hard work, you succeed in enjoying it despite it being hard. You learn to enjoy the good pieces, the easy ones that easily and neatly fit into the bigger picture. Then when a particularly tough piece comes along, you take it as an exciting challenge. That is life- and that is love.

Love is when you become a little less fearful of being vulnerable. Love is when you stop thinking about it. Love is when you are not *in* love- controversial, isn’t it? Love is when you depend on it like it’s second nature to you.

Love is that emotion that we are driven by – it is love for Allah that makes us His ‘ibaad – it is the characteristic of being an ‘abd. Because when we do something with love, it is as easy and as enjoyable as if we were doing it entirely for ourselves. That’s why some people view it as selfish. I’ve heard people say that those who are religious are selfish because ultimately they are doing everything for themselves. Their philanthropy is for their own selves too. but that’s the beauty of Islam. Everything our Creator designed for us in the shari’ah is actually good for us. Anything that is harmful to us is not allowed. Usury is not allowed because it is bad for us and society. Illegal sexual intercourse is not allowed because it is not good for us. Alcohol is not allowed because it is bad for us. Helping others helps not only others but ourselves too. How many people come out of depression when they start serving others and consequently not focusing on their own problems so much. There are feel good hormones that are released whenever we do something good. It’s the reward of this world, and there is reward in the akhirah too inshaAllah.

It is hard to talk about religion and God today – but once we do start talking about it, there is so much tranquility in this act, that you cannot stop. That is a miracle in itself. It is like a magnet, calling us to our purpose- and only our purpose in this world grants us happiness and contentment – and that is to know God and to worship Him – to strive to reflect on Him and His signs and to sprinkle our lives with this remembrance amidst the necessary business of our days.

May Allah swt Grant  us His Love, the love of those He Loves, of those who Love Him, and the love of everything that will Grant us His Love. May He Grant us love of those around us, our friends and family and of humanity itself. The Prophet Muhammad was sent as a Mercy to all mankind, and he had a love for humanity that is unmatched. May we follow him in this Sunnah of his, ameen.

Ramadan prep 2017

Alhamdulillah, Ramadan is right around the corner, and as we prepare our hearts to welcome Ramadan, it always helps to have some tangible goals at hand.

One suggestion I have for everyone is to increase your knowledge of and your making of the Sunnah duas. If you already do not have a Sunnah dua book that you refer to regularly, now is the time to choose one that you feel comfortable with.

I dearly recommend Maulana Ashraf Ali Thanvi rahmatullah alaih’s Munajaat e Maqbool. It is a collection of Sunnah duas which are divided into duas that can be read each day of the week. So in a week, you go through all of them if you follow the order of the book. What I particularly like is how in the hashia (margin) he gives the reference to each dua. Apart from these daily regimens, there are also time and space specific duas at the end, like dua-e-hajah (supplication of a specific need) or dua -e-istikhara, or the duas to read

To increase your memorization of the duas you can highlight or underline the ones you want to add to your list, so as your go through them, you can also take second looks at the highlighted parts whenever you wish to review those particular duas.

I found this book amongst my mother’s collection – and I have found a special affinity to it ever since. I don’t know the story of how and when she got this dua book – but may she receive abundant reward for each dua as I read it, along with whoever guided her to it. Ameen.

dua book2

There is something beautiful about making the Sunnah duas – if you know Arabic, the experience is more beautiful because it is not just a rote-learned reading out of the duas… You feel them when you read them… And if you get them memorized then you can  ‘make’ duas in the same words that once came out of the blessed mouth of Rasool Allah sallAllahu alaihi wasallam. Sunnah duas are incredibly comprehensive and leave you feeling humbled before Allah swt.

As sister Rayhaanah Omar  Inspiration for Qur’an Memorization (see here) mentions, choose one or many themes that you want to focus on this Ramadan. Each year, our Ramadan may be coloured in different ways – perhaps there was a time we attended a daura e Quran in Ramadan, then there may be another we increased our remembrance of Allah in through dua and tasbeeh; there may have been a year we sat in ‘Itekaaf in… What will this year’s Ramadan be like for you? How do you wish to color it?

Be creative inshaAllah and share your ideas below.

Allahumma Wahdini li saalihil a’maal wal akhlaaq

Innahu laa yahdi lisaalihihaa wa laa yasrifu sayyi’iha illa Anta.

[Ya Allah, and Guide me to righteous deeds and character traits (habits)

Indeed no one Guides towards righteous deeds and attributes and none turns around bad deeds and traits except You.]

Ameen ya Rabb

The Drizzling Rain of the Qur’an

Alhamdulillah

Alhamdulillah for the driver who used to take us to elementary school. Alhamdulillah he played the Quran on and off.

Alhamdulillah for the taxi driver who drove us to high school and also used to play his favourite Qur’an recitation extremely regularly – I think it was Qari Basfar now that I try to remember…

Alhamdulillah for listening to Imam Sudais, Imam Shuraim in the Haram live when they used to be leading prayers once upon a time.

Alhamdulillah for our Qur’an classes in Manarat Jeddah where we recited, memorized, small surahs…

Alhamdulillah for these snippets of relationship with the Qur’an APART from the basic learning from the Qari sahab culture of Paki people…

Will I be able to give this experience to my children? Maybe not the same, unless people start listening to tilawah while commuting even in pakistan… Unless people realized how far they are in connecting to the Word of God… Unless people who are owners of the Qur’an became more intwined with our society and are beaming examples of the softness that our Prophet (s) embodied… Unless it happens in a similar, gentle way, like drizzling rain from the sky… I pray it does…for all our children

There is a beauty, a Majesty in the Words of Allah swt in the Arabic language itself – when this is coupled with an intellectual contextual understanding of the beauty of Allah’s Words, it will not NOT leave an impact on hearts. That is how He Guides, how He waters our hearts with His Kalaam, the Greatest Sign of His Existence…

Don’t undermine your feelings

When someone, even if someone with a lot of religious knowledge, gives advice such as “don’t get depressed” and they are talking about losing a child,
please know that it is very probable that they have not yet faced any tragedy in life.
Do not hold it against them, but also do not hold their words against yourself.
Depression and losing faith in Allah swt are two very different things.
Sometimes, we fall deep in the abyss of grief because of some sorrow that befalls us – connect to others who have faced similar grief – because only they will be able to understand fully.
And connect with those who have strong faith within that group too, for together you can act on the ayahs

By time, (1) Indeed, mankind is in loss, (2) Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and

advised each other to truth and advised each other to patience. (3)

Religious OCD

Dear sisters,

 

If you have signs of perfectionism in you, and you strive for perfection in Deen also, please be careful.

If you are not careful, you can get swept into religious OCD by religious leaders who focus on the trivial things rather than those that are really important.

Pray to Allah SWT. make a direct connection with Him. That is why we ask for Guidance in every rak’ah of salah.

Find company and friends who will encourage you instead of holding tunnel views about what Deen is.

May Allah swt Make us flourish in our spiritual journeys.

May He Draw us closer to Him, and not to ideologies and understandings…

Rabbana laa tuzigh qulubana ba’da iz hadaitana,

wa habb lana min ladunka Rahma

innaka antal Wahhab

Bittersweet Memories

I have been postponing this post for months.

How do you write about something that is locked up somewhere inside your heart because it hurts too much to open it up?

How do I write about something which makes me feel that it would not change anything… It would not bring her back… except it might warm up my cold heart a little. And isn’t that a good enough reason?

SubhanAllah there are some dear people in the world who belittle any such effort. Perhaps they are really not people of the heart… Ya Allah, Grant me company of the ulul albaab… The people of understanding; people of pure, sound minds and intellects… Make me a possessor of lubb… Ameen… And praise be to You who Grants purity of minds and hearts.

So here goes…

Losing our mother was like losing a part of my heart. It was like losing part of my store of memories in my mind – my childhood… Did I really want to hold on to them? What good will it do? I felt like part of my life meant nothing to me now. There was no use dwelling in those peaceful, innocent childhood memories that knew no sorrow and no fear. Because I had experienced the truth of this world.

I had experienced that life can be shook. Our lives as we know it can change. Nothing we have is permanent. Each thing that we take for granted is actually being given to us, as a gift… And we have no control over it.

This experience made me feel like it was futile to think about my past and savor it. I didn’t want to savor it. What was it except moments that had passed and were no more? What good would it do to dwell on the breaths of life already taken, when there were more to be taken that would become a means of me going to the real true moments of felicity. I did not want to dwell on those moments of joy that had evaporated into thin air.

That is how I felt. And how I have mostly felt throughout the past 7 plus years.

It made me look beyond the realm of imperfections to the realm of the Perfect.

It made me yearn for an abode that would be void of pain and suffering, with a yearning I never felt before.

But here is what I was not ready for…

In the erasing of those memories, somewhat, what I did was, I was only preparing myself for a life that would come inevitably, but indefinitely. I was *not* prepared for the present, or the near future – for the years that were meant to take me to that inevitable eternal future.

We cannot blot out memories – whether good or bad – without suffering a negative effect.

The human brain is an incredible thing. One of the Signs of the Almighty about which we have very little knowledge about. One of the things about us that baffles us and makes us wonder, how in the world can anyone think this brain *just* evolved. Sure it may have evolved, but not without plan. What a beautiful created plan. And the heart even more so- the intangible human heart. The feelings of love, hate, jealousy, forgiveness, mercy, sweetness, empathy, anger, courage – these emotions within us manifest and bear witness to the Beauty and Majesty of the One who Created us.

And so as I raised my young kids, I went back to those memories, painfully but surely.

When my mother passed away, Allah swt had prepared us for a good 2 and half years. She had not been well. My youngest brother, who was only 11 at that time, said he had prayed to Allah to take away her pain. Allah SWT Had listened to his dua, he said.

A lot can be written about my mother. Where can one begin? Her smell, her hug, her excitement – some of the things that jump to my heart when I think about her – and her smile which everyone who knew her seems to remember and cherish… Her perfectly straight nose mashaAllah, thin and prettily long, which none of us siblings inherited…

People who knew her far less than us cherish just knowing her… Then how much would we remember and cherish? I remember me and my sister getting possessive if our mother spoke too long to her sisters- that is how much we yearned for her company.

photo

As I write this, I feel like there is an entire culture in my country that shies away from this – from sharing your struggles and pains. As if it is something to be ashamed of. Or if not ashamed, something to not mention to others… But alhamdulillah that I look at my Deen and see what it says about it… Honestly, in today’s world where everybody has become obsessed with only sharing the best from their lives, who is it out there who will share their sorrows? And if we do not share our sorrows, what kind of humans are we becoming? Ok let me rephrase that, alright, I understand some people prefer not to talk about their pain to the whole world and just to near and dear ones. That is ok – that is their choice. But we need to share our experiences so others can find some hope in the tests of this life. Because this life is nothing but a test. It is nothing but a test, in the form of play and enjoyment. It is nothing but a test, sometimes in the form of suffering and pain.

And as I go in circles with this philosophy, the only thing to take away from this is this:

Your struggle is your own. Your test is your own. Nothing anybody else has or is facing or is enjoying has got anything to do with your eternal life. So look back and focus. Focus on your own life and your own actions. This requires constant struggle. Leave all else.

If a person chooses to not share their struggles with others, that is a personal choice- it is not more Islamic to do so, neither does it make us a better Muslim or a worse Muslim if we choose to or not choose to. Someone even implied that writing a blog means you do not have other more important things to do.

Alhamdulillah, there are still some classical traditional scholarsmen and women who will tell you it is perfectly ok to do so, without the least hint of “it would be better if you did not”.

Let me go back to my mother…

It was my mother, who, despite her illness due to the third chemotherapy circle after the cancer had spread not just to her brain two years ago, but to her liver and bone marrow –  decided that she wanted to send my teacher homemade chicken corn soup- the last day before my mother had to travel to Jeddah. She said our teacher had done so much for us- we were always having lunches and chai at her place as we studied Quran, hadith, fiqh, Arabic sari and nahw, part-time in addition to our Bachelor studies at LUMS. On top of that, she was expecting…

Sometimes I imagine, how, if my mother had been so adamant on sending my teacher homemade chicken corn soup because she was expecting- how she would have pampered me and my sister in our pregnancies and post-deliveries.

I imagine how she would have scolded us when we scold our children. I imagine how she would always have taken our kids’ side – and it would have been such a relief that someone was there to love them when we were too tired or too upset with them in that moment… I imagine how I could have called her up and shared my worry about my first son who didn’t want to go to school ever, of when he got a pulled elbow, of how he now refuses to eat the same things he used to eat a year ago – and how I would have gotten stories in return of me and my siblings and what we used to do.

It was my mother, who prayed to Allah swt to take her away ‘chaltay phirtay” – she did not want to be dependant on anyone. In 2006, when after 7 years of health after her first diagnosis of breast cancer and subsequent chemotherapy and radiotherapy, the cancer was detected again – she had started getting sudden headaches. It was not migraine. The cancer had spread to her brain. This time the therapies resulted in her condition becoming worse… Because it affected her brain cells, we could not communicate well with her. It was in 2006, that subconsciously, my being became fearful of the possibility that we may really lose her.

Allah SWT Granted her recovery. And she began walking and talking once again. Once again, ready to fulfill her role of being mother and caretaker. Her pictures after this incident are different. She looks like a survivor – and in that is evidence that my siblings and our father were survivors too. Survivors of the touch of fatal illness, that changes the lives of not only the one suffering, but the lovers as well.

It makes you a little older, a little more wise (hopefully) and a little more dead. That is the ability of a touch with reality. It may make you more blind too – because you may not want to look. It may want you to numb your pain in different ways…

Back to 2006…

She was not her old self after that…

My mother, who always made evenings so much fun. Tea times with some little thing- savory or sweet – she could concoct a recipe we tasted in a restaurant with no effort at home.

photo 1

She was now a warrior who had returned from battle, aware that she would have to go fight again. But wanting to hope to live on for her youngest son and her husband, if not her two daughters whom she at that point couldn’t fathom would need her so much even after, and in fact especially after they had gone to their new homes. She told me a few months before she passed away – that she worried for my youngest brother and my father…

She Knew it was Allah SWT Who would take care of them. But she said that out loud to me. Who will take care of them – and in those words she left a love and concern that will warm our hearts – because we feel the absence of the shade only she could have provided. Allah SWT Healed and Protected and took care of us – but He also Showed us what a beautiful Gift He Gives to us in the form of our mothers – when our mother’s shade was forever lost for us in this dunya we realized truly what a difficult dunya it is. And the reality behind the facade.

There is no substitute for a mother’s care… Just like there is no substitute for our relationship with Allah swt.

A book could be written about each life on this earth. An entire book can be written about what I learnt from you and about how in taking you away, my rabb taught me so much. He gave me experiential knowledge of things about which we are told by our beloved nabi sallAllahu alaihi wasallam. My Rabb gave me a taste of the sorrow my nabi (s) must have felt when his mother passed away. He gave me a tinge of the sorrow he must have felt when his grandfather and then his uncle and his beloved wife passed away.

 

I want to cherish this sorrow. I wish to make this pain my strength, my armour and not my weakness. It is unfortunate that people whom I thought would have enough spiritual insight to understand these realities of our life on this earth did not really have the empathy or kindness or understanding one would expect from them. But that is alright. It is Allah SWT’s way of teaching us how only He Heals and only He Grants different talents and different blessings to all of His ibaad. Hold on to all the different people He has Gifted you – look deeper – you will find them all around you.

Mother, you went away too soon…

But my hope is in Allah’s Promise:

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported:

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “Allah, the Exalted, says: ‘I have no reward other than Jannah for a believing slave of Mine who remains patient for My sake when I take away his beloved one from among the inhabitants of the world”.
[Bukhari]

… and my prayer and my hope is that He Keeps Granting us that patience till our last breath. Ameen.

photo 2

Dealing with Things in a Delicate Manner

The Names of Allah have a lot of lessons in them for us.

The Name Lateef (the Subtle One) occurs 7 times in the Quran, 5 times associated with His Name Khabeer (the All Knowing).

It teaches us a very powerful lesson.

We should deal with things in a delicate way because it’s a Sunnah of Allah. He Deals with things in subtle ways, despite Him Knowing everything in detail and BECAUSE He Knows everything in detail.

Similarly, we won’t know how to deal with things delicately unless we have exhaustive information.

Sometimes we say things to people, which are not very delicate, and we don’t understand the background. And we can say things which are very hurtful, even though that is not our intent…

We lacked Lutf, because we lacked khabar.

When you know more about a situation then you are able to deal with it in a more sensitive way. And until you have that information, you should just step back and say I don’t know.

 

(Taken from tafseer of Surah Mulk, Bayyinah.tv)

MotherHood: A Creation of Allah

In the last couple of months, I think I told a friend and a group of cousins how the tough parts of parenting really intrigue me in asking the question: why?

Why do we have such a hard job in parenting these little people? (I am assuming you are only here if you too have felt the same – so if you think it’s an easy job, then you’ve probably no reason to carry on reading 🙂

I told her, this is one thing I really want to ask Allah swt in the Hereafter. “What was that all about?” Honestly – the perks are super-awesome. But the downsides are enough to drive you mad.

And yesterday I was thinking about it again and here’s what I felt- sometimes, the absolutely cringe-worthy crying episode of a toddler who has not been given this one particular thing – despite a very good and happy and exciting day otherwise- made me think of how all of the tiny things we care about as a parent are a minisicule version of what Allah swt Does for us.

As a parent, we do so much for a child, but one thing goes wrong and they’re ready to put up a fight and make you feel like you’re the worst parent ever.

Of course, as you’re reading, we all know that these comparisons fall short of True Reality because they are finite and imperfect. Whereas Allah swt is Finite.

Say: He is Allah, the One and Only; (1) Allah, the Eternal, Absolute; (2) He begetteth not, nor is He begotten; (3) And there is none like unto Him. (4)

But His Creation holds signs for us. And in parenting we find a unique sign.

Children are immature. They do not know the whole story. Yes, they are close to the fitrah, but they need guidance and nurturing. They are full of carefree freedom – but if you let them do whatever they want, pretty soon they will be falling short of the potential they are capable of achieving. They need to play and be free and be creative, and play again – but they also need to be taught and shown basic rights from wrong – caring for others, empathy, not hurting others, not damaging something on purpose – these are things we teach early on as parents. As a parent, our responsibility is to guide our children to the best possible version of themselves.

And Allah SWT Guides us to the best model possible as a human.

And we are immature. And we are stubborn. And we want to go our own way. And sometimes we see the benefits in what He says but we still want to have that tub of ice cream right before bedtime. Most of the times we may be grateful, but there may be that one time when you knew it’s ok to not get that particular one thing because maybe it was bad for you anyway- but we question and feel bad – about why Allah swt Denied it to us.

Perhaps, in parenting, there lie some valuable lessons that we would not have learnt otherwise. Perhaps in the drudgery of parenting we realize, how, just like a tiny baby, who cries out of need because it is unable to do anything for itself, how we too are so in need of Allah swt. May be not in this world “apparently”… maybe we can deceive ourselves in thinking that we are thinking of our own, feeding ourselves on our own, growing on our own – maybe we can deceive ourselves here- but in the Hereafter we will be oh so Needy of Him.

يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ أَنتُمُ الْفُقَرَاءُ إِلَى اللَّـهِ ۖ وَاللَّـهُ هُوَ الْغَنِيُّ الْحَمِيدُ 

O mankind, you it is that have need of Allah: but Allah is the One Free of all wants, worthy of all praise. (35:15 Quran)

We are truly fuqara- faqeers of Allah. In every sense of the word.

There is no other thing like motherhood in this world. Surely, in it are signs for those who think.

I am Imperfect and Incomplete… He Completes me.

They try to take me away from You.

And he tries. He tries so hard.

I am afraid that they might succeed.

They mock, and they belittle, and they think that they’re enough.

They think they’re imperfect but enough,

I think I’m imperfect and enough, but not ‘really’ enough without You.

I am afraid,

Because he knows you are the Most Beloved.

He knows and he hates it.

I am afraid, because there is no other being that completes me except You.

I am afraid, because the cost is so high.

I am afraid, because there’s only one chance.

I am afraid, because this is all I’ve got.

I am hopeful because that’s all I’ve got.

I am hopeful because you deserve all my trust.

Because you are the most Truthful.

I have hope because you complete me.

I have hope because that’s all I have.

I have hope, because you Love me.

I have hope, because I Call to You

and because you Say:

So his Lord responded to him and averted from him their plan. Indeed, He is the Hearing, the Knowing. (12:34 Quran)

Copyright @2017

Pastel Illustration copyright @2011 by Saman Khalid